An Attitude of Gratitude

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer…”

-Maya Angelou

I’ve been a chaplain for almost 12 years now and in that time I have seen unbelievable losses. One of the things that has greatly impacted me has been meeting care-seekers who have been given a devastating diagnosis and who, somehow, remain hopeful. When I ask how they are coping with the difficulty they regularly refer to their “attitude of gratitude.” Somehow, no matter what happens, they find a way to be thankful for the blessings and resources they have even in the midst of a difficult time.  

Life happens. Often the happenings are difficult, tragic, and sometimes downright devastating. When life happens it is important to feel all of the difficult feelings that come along for the ride, including disappointment, anger, sadness, grief, disbelief. However, without something to balance those difficult emotions we can find ourselves sliding down the hill towards hopelessness and despair. This is where gratitude can be used as a practice to help reorient ourselves to the good that our current reality contains even in the midst of difficult circumstances. I don’t need to be grateful for the difficult thing and I can root myself in gratitude as I go through the difficult thing. Beware of the notion that gratitude somehow removes the difficulty, “fixes” something, or makes everything better. It is spiritual bypassing and it is faulty and harmful. You cannot use gratitude to avoid grief and loss. However, you can use gratitude to remain buoyant in life’s stormy sea.

The next time you are feeling that downward slide towards despair, feel the difficult feelings AND find 5 things you can be grateful for. Five is a number of grace, spiritual growth, and self-confidence. Don’t take anything for granted, really take an inventory and find all the things you can be thankful for. I guarantee it will give you some perspective and lighten your mood. When you have an attitude of gratitude you spend more time thankful for what you have than lamenting what you don’t have. It makes a difference. Try it out and let me know how it works for you!