REST…

When you are a driven person it can be hard to rest. Sometimes the difficulty is a function of a high drive and sometimes it is cultural conditioning about productivity and worthiness. I have a secret about your worthiness…read to the end.

Have you ever worked through lunch or your break only to find out you aren’t satisfied with the work you produced? What a waste! What if you viewed rest as part of the process instead of an interruption to your process?

In the Christian tradition the creation story suggests that even God accounted for rest as part of the creative process. God created all the things God intended to create, and on the sixth day of creation looked around and declared that the creation was good. The next day God rested from creative activity and, I like to think, looked around and reflected on the good work God had done. Now certainly God doesn’t have a body that needs rest and the creation story is likely designed to teach us lessons about how to live in the created world. The lesson: Create. Rest. It’s really that simple.

When I was in CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) learning to become a competent chaplain, one of the things I loved was that reflection was built into the process. We were expected to make time each week to reflect on our work with care-seekers and our work within ourselves. Think of the process of reflection like looking into a body of water. I cannot see my reflection until the water is still and at rest. Then I can see clearly and examine all that I see.

I talk about life as a healing journey quite a bit. When we have lived through trauma and loss we are literally creating a new world in front of us using the building blocks of our experience. How can I know if I like what I am building or how I am building it if I don’t stop and reflect on my creation and the process by which I am creating?

One of the the things I do for a living is create safe-enough spaces for care-seekers to process a myriad of emotions related to grief and loss. It is a difficult task and it takes an enormous amount of energy. As a Black Christian woman I was conditioned to believe it was somehow virtuous to give until I had nothing to give myself- it was called sacrificial giving. As one of the elders in my church used to say, “Not so!” It’s not just a bad idea to “pour on empty,” it can be dangerous.

I use this analogy regularly in my work to demonstrate the point:

When you fly commercial airlines part of the safety demonstration is about oxygen masks. The flight attendant demonstrates how to don the oxygen mask and gives the following instructions, “In the event of a loss of cabin pressure the oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling. Please secure the mask over your own nose and mouth before attempting to assist others.”

Why? Let’s say you have a minor child, an elderly parent, or a disabled adult with you that needs your help getting on and off the plane. If you put their oxygen mask on first you may have deprived yourself of oxygen long enough to be hypoxic. Hypoxia, low oxygen, can cause headaches, shortness of breath, and confusion among other symptoms. Do you really want to be confused in an emergency where someone else needs your assistance? By putting your mask on first you actually are helping yourself AND the person who needs you. Rest is a way to care for yourself and refill your internal resources so you are then prepared to help others out of your abundance.

And, oh! That secret about your worthiness I spoke about? Your worth is static. It is NOT connected to your productivity. I believe our worth is inherent, bestowed upon us by the creator, not a system that wants to convince us to continually produce for it’s benefit (but that’s a whole other conversation).

Moral of this story: Rest was part of the process from the beginning. Rest is necessary time and space for the reflection needed to continue to heal and grow. Rest is a way to refill our resources so we can continue the work we are here to do.

REST!!!

If you’d like to work with me for spiritual care or grief care related to worthiness and rest click the button below and let’s get started.